Sunday, August 12, 2012

"How to Be a Baby by Me, the Big Sister"

This is emphatically not a Batman or Superman or even nonfiction post.

Rather it is a letter of recommendation for the 2007 picture book How to Be a Baby by Me, the Big Sister (and Sally Lloyd-Jones and Sue Heap).

The book nails the voice of a girl who is approximately six years old as she schools her baby brother in the ways of the world as she knows it. My favorite lines (emphases hers):

When you’re a baby, it’s not good because you don’t have any hair.

You sing songs, but you don’t know the words. Or the tune. (I know the words and the tune AND THE DANCE.)

People have to carry you EVERYWHERE. (This is you being carried EVERYWHERE.)

Here’s What Else You Can’t Do [list culminating with “Actually anything really fun”]

Here’s What Else You Are Scared Of [list culminating with “Actually lots of not-scary things at all”]

And a special plug goes in your mouth. It’s called a pacifier and it’s to stop your scream coming out.

And when you go in the car, you have to sit in a baby-holder with a handle on it. You don’t even face the right way. (I prefer to sit in a seat like a normal person.)

Here’s What Else You Do That’s Illegal [list whose title alone is hilarious and spot-on]

A whimsical read for anyone and especially, of course, anyone with a sibling (older or younger).

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