"Batman: Brave and Bold" script #4: Batman and Captain Comet

In 2009, I finally got the chance to write for DC Comics; editor Mike Siglain commissioned four scripts for the comic based on the whimsical animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold. 

Batman and Wonder Girl

Batman and Animal Man

Batman and Zatanna

Batman and Captain Comet

I had a blast, using mostly heroes who had not appeared with Batman either on the show or in the comic the show was based on. I loved the way the series mixed and matched, often pitting Batman and a co-star against a villain who was not associated with either of them.

I got paid. I got excited.

Then the title got canceled. 

Since it is now unlikely that these stories will be published, I will share them here. All characters, of course, are copyright DC Comics. This installment: Batman and Captain Comet. 

“Don’t Comet ‘Round Here No More!”

PAGE 1

Page 1, panel 1

In a particle accelerator lab, a boomerang whizzes by.

Page 1, panel 2

In space, a comet whizzes by.

Page 1, panel 3

The boomerang snags a gun out of a security guard’s hand and begins its return.

Page 1, panel 4

The comet arcs across the sky over Earth.

Page 1, panel 5

Seconds before the boomerang reaches a black-gloved hand, a Batarang knocks it away.

Page 1, panel 6

Batman
Like your weapon, Captain Boomerang, you’re about to return to where you came from—prison.

PAGE 2

Page 2, panel 1

Captain Boomerang takes out another boomerang.

Captain Boomerang
Fighting crime the night Halley’s Comet is passing by Earth, Batman? But it’s a shame to miss that—it won’t be back for 76 years.

Batman
Bats aren’t nocturnal for the stargazing.

Page 2, panel 2

A small blade slides out of both ends of the boomerang.

SFX
Fwick!

Captain Boomerang
Here’s something to keep your eye on instead.

Page 2, panel 3

Captain Boomerang hurls the boomerang at Batman.

SFX
Fwish!

Page 2, panel 4

Batman hurls a bat-shaped magnet toward the boomerang.

Batman
The problem with your gimmick, Boomerang—it’s always predictable.

Page 2, panel 5

The magnet draws the boomerang to it.

SFX
Bing!

Page 2, panel 6

Being close to a large metal object (door, machinery, telescope-like-thing—doesn’t matter), the magnet—now attached to the boomerang—smacks against it.

SFX
Clang!

PAGE 3

Page 3, panel 1

Another boomerang rockets past Batman from behind, clipping off one of the ears of his cowl.

SFX
Fwoosh!

SFX
Clip!

Page 3, panel 2

Captain Boomerang is smirking. Batman looks genuinely surprised (and will go the rest of the story with one cowl point missing).

Captain Boomerang
I threw that one a while ago. Predictable, huh?

Page 3, panel 3

Batman (balloon 1)
You’re wasting my time, Boomerang. I was supposed to be apprehending Sportsmaster across town three and a half minutes ago.

Batman (balloon 2)
His gimmick is also dumb, but at least it’s diverse.

Page 3, panel 4

Captain Boomerang is grabbing a device about the size of his torso (the purpose of which will be revealed shortly).

Captain Boomerang
You think I’m a joke, Batman? Next time you see me, you will not be laughing.

Page 3, panel 5

Captain Boomerang kicks a boomerang out of his boot in Batman’s direction. The boomerang is generating smoke.

Captain Boomerang
And you’ll never predict why!

Page 3, panel 6

Batman is surrounded by smoke.

PAGE 4

Page 4, panel 1

As the smoke clears and the boomerang harmlessly reverses direction, Batman finds that Captain Boomerang is gone.

Page 4, panel 2

In the sky above the Batwing (that Batman is piloting away from the lab), the yellow glow of Halley’s Comet is visible—alongside another bright (but red) streak.

Page 4, panel 3

In an outdoor setting at night, Batman is knocking out Kite Man.

caption
A WEEK LATER

Batman
Hopefully that concludes Lame Props Week…

Page 4, panel 4

A glowing form descends behind Batman.

Captain Comet
Batman, we have a problem.

Page 4, panel 5

Batman
Captain Comet! You need my help? Your IQ is stratospheric.

Page 4, panel 6

Captain Comet (balloon 1)
I may be the smartest man in space, but you’re the smartest man on Earth—and this matter relates to both.

Captain Comet (balloon 2)
Something is wrong with Halley’s Comet. It’s broken free of its orbit. Now it’s coming back this way, like…

PAGE 5

Page 5, panel 1

Batman
…a boomerang.

Page 5, panel 2

Captain Comet
Yes. But this time, it’s not going to pass by in the distance. It’s headed straight for Earth.

Page 5, panel 3

Captain Comet is somehow indicating “I now remember”—i.e. slapping his forehead, snapping, waving his pointer finger the air, etc.

Batman
Can’t you alter the comet’s path with your mind?

Captain Comet
That’s right—my telekinesis! I have so many powers that I sometimes lose track.

Page 5, panel 4

Batman
You just called yourself the smartest man in space.

Captain Comet
A person can be smart and forgetful at the same time. But no, my telekinesis won’t work on something that big. And my psionic blasts aren’t strong enough to reroute something that fast.

Page 5, panel 5

Batman
Then we’ve got to find Captain Boomerang.

PAGE 6

Page 6, panel 1

Batman in the Batgyro flies alongside Captain Comet.

Batman
Boomerang always takes over locations where something returns—I’ve stopped him everywhere from a recycling facility to a mail-in rebate center.

Captain Comet
Predictable and lame.

Page 6, panel 2

Batman is looking at the sky, where the returning comet, now visible, is much closer (i.e. larger and brighter) than it should be.

Batman
Not anymore.

Page 6, panel 3

Batman
We don’t have much time. Do you have super-speed?

Captain Comet
(wrinkled brow, concentrating hard)
Super-speed, super-speed…I don’t think so.

Page 6, panel 4

Batman
Super-hearing?

Captain Comet
That I do have. Wait, nope…I’m thinking of someone else.

Page 6, panel 5

Batman
Anything that could get this done quicker?

Captain Comet
Uh…let’s see…of course! I’m clairvoyant. I can see things not directly in front of me. Takes a moment…

PAGE 7

Page 7, panel 1

Captain Comet
He’s at the shore.

Batman
Of course—where the tide ebbs and flows.

Captain Comet
Not to mention where he has an unobstructed view of the sky.

Page 7, panel 2

Batman and Captain Comet arrive at the shore, where Captain Boomerang is on a boat aiming a sophisticated remote-control-like device skyward—but he looks panicked, not pernicious.

Batman
Boomerang! Divert the comet now!

Captain Boomerang
Batman in the nick of time! And you call me predictable!

Page 7, panel 3

Captain Comet lands next to Captain Boomerang as Batman jumps to the boat from his ride.

Captain Comet
You heard the man, Boomerang. Whatever you did to send the comet this way, undo it.

Captain Boomerang
I’ve been trying! But this tech I stole from that lab works only halfway!

Page 7, panel 4

Batman
What are you talking about?

Captain Boomerang
I recalibrated it to change the comet’s path but I can’t reverse it! I hate when things don’t go back where they came from!

Page 7, panel 5

Captain Boomerang smashes the device against the boat.

Page 7, panel 6

Captain Boomerang picks up one of the pieces—a small glowing puck.

Captain Boomerang
This is the power core. Somehow its signal is no longer working from a distance.

Batman
I think our last chance to save Earth is to plant the power core directly on Halley’s Comet. Captain Comet—can you get that close?

PAGE 8

Page 8, panel 1

Batman takes the power core from Captain Boomerang.

Captain Comet
I know this one! Yes! I regularly create a shield to protect myself from the extremes of space…but I couldn’t fly up to the comet in time.

Batman
Yes you can. When his crew is in danger, a captain rises to the challenge to save them. You’re so powerful that you might be able to will yourself a new ability as needed.

Page 8, panel 2

Batman hands the power core to Captain Comet.

Batman
And once this is attached, hit it with both a telekinetic and a psionic blast. I’m gambling that will act as a super-charger, sending the comet in whatever direction you choose.

Page 8, panel 3

Captain Comet takes the power core. Everyone is sweating.

Captain Comet
This is why I sought out your help, Batman. Proves how smart I am.

Page 8, panel 4

Captain Comet blasts off toward Halley’s Comet.

SFX
Zzzzzzzt!

Captain Comet
It woooooooooooorks!

Page 8, panel 5

In space, Captain Comet shoves the power core into the comet.

Page 8, panel 6

Backed away, Captain Comet blasts the power core with two kinds of blasts as Batman suggested.

PAGE 9

Page 9, panel 1

Half page showing the comet dramatically reversing course, heading back into space. Sparks and licks of intense flame flying everywhere.

Page 9, panel 2

Batman and Captain Boomerang looking up at a spectacular light show. The comet that was large last time we saw it is now a speck.

Batman
A good Captain can always change course.

Page 9, panel 3

Captain Comet returns to Batman and Captain Boomerang.

Captain Comet
I’m going to hold on to this super-speed.

Page 9, panel 4

Captain Boomerang (balloon 1)
I didn’t intend this—I didn’t want to destroy the planet! After all, I can’t get rich if I’m dead!

Captain Boomerang (balloon 2)
I just wanted to show you that I’m not a joke! And don’t forget I showed you the power core!

Batman
All you showed is that you deserve a longer sentence than ever before.

PAGE 10

Page 10, panel 1

Captain Boomerang throws boomerangs (that are giving off electric charges) at Batman and Captain Comet.

Captain Boomerang
No! That’s the one place I will never go back to!

SFX
Whzzzzzz!

Page 10, panel 2

As Batman and Captain Comet each catch one of the boomerangs, Captain Boomerang leaps overboard.

SFX
Splash!

Page 10, panel 3

Captain Comet is poised to go after Captain Boomerang but Batman is putting out his arm to stop him.

Batman
No need.

Page 10, panel 4

The heroes see a nearby Coast Guard vessel fishing Captain Boomerang out.

Page 10, panel 5

The Coast Guard captain is delivering Captain Boomerang to the (costumed) heroes.

Batman
Thank you, Captain.

Captain Comet, Captain Boomerang, Coast Guard Captain (simultaneous)
You’re welcome.

"Batman: Brave and Bold" script #3: Batman and Zatanna

In 2009, I finally got the chance to write for DC Comics; editor Mike Siglain commissioned four scripts for the comic based on the whimsical animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold. 

Batman and Wonder Girl

Batman and Animal Man

Batman and Zatanna

Batman and Captain Comet

I had a blast, using mostly heroes who had not appeared with Batman either on the show or in the comic the show was based on. I loved the way the series mixed and matched, often pitting Batman and a co-star against a villain who was not associated with either of them.

I got paid. I got excited.

Then the title got canceled. 

Since it is now unlikely that these stories will be published, I will share them here. All characters, of course, are copyright DC Comics. This installment: Batman and Zatanna.

“Trouble in Reverse in Trouble!”

PAGE 1

Page 1, panel 1

Evening. People enter a theater with a poster advertising “Zatanna, the Maid of Magic!” Plastered at an angle over the poster: “Tonight Only: Surprise Guest!” Among the crowd is someone conspicuously shorter and even more conspicuously dressed in an orange trench coat and purple derby hat.

Mxyzptlk
(to himself, quietly)
Surprise guest indeed! Or perhaps I should say deedni…

Page 1, panel 2

Inside the theater, Mxyzptlk is at the concession stand.

theatergoer (in background)
(quietly)
Mr. Miracle is a good guess. But I bet it’s Flash.

Mxyzptlk
Stunaep, esaelp.

Page 1, panel 3

The concession stand employee looks blankly at Mxyzptlk.

Page 1, panel 4 

Mxyzptlk
(visibly frustrated)
< sigh > Peanuts, please.

Page 1, panel 5

In the theater, Mxyzptlk takes a seat in a full house.

Zatanna (off-panel)
—will need my special surprise guest for my very first trick. Ladies and gentlemen, a man who is no stranger to danger...

PAGE 2

Page 2, panel 1

Batman swings onstage alongside Zatanna.

Zatanna
—Batman!

SFX
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!

Page 2, panel 2

Batman
(leaning in to Zatanna)
Make this quick, Zatanna. Crime doesn’t take an intermission.

Zatanna (balloon 1)
(whispering back to Batman)
It’s only one trick. Besides, I never draw this big a crowd—rumor of you sold out the house. So try to enjoy it.

Zatanna (balloon 2)
Was raeppa!

[presume here there would be an editor’s note explaining that Zatanna speaks words backwards when casting spells]

Page 2, panel 3

A saw pops into Zatanna’s hand as Batman positions himself and his annoyed expression inside the typical coffin-like magician’s box.

Zatanna
You’ve seen a magician saw a man in half—but never a Batman!

SFX
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!

Page 2, panel 4

Zatanna saws.

Zatanna
Come on, Batman. Give your adoring crowd something.

Batman
(to audience)
Hnh. Uh…Killer Croc has gnawed on all my limbs. You think this is going to hurt?

SFX
HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Page 2, panel 5

Mxyzptlk gives a discreet twirl of his finger.

Page 2, panel 6

The head half of the box hits the floor.

SFX
Clunk!

The foot half hits the floor running (literally). Batman looks bewildered and Zatanna horrified.

Zatanna
Batman, my magic didn’t do this! Let me try to fix it—

PAGE 3

Page 3, panel 1

Mxyzptlk, smirking, gives another tiny finger twirl.

Page 3, panel 2

Man-Bat, Bizarro, Reverse-Flash (with the lightning bolt in his emblem mirror imaged), and Mr. Terrible (with the order of the words “FOUL PLAY” on his jacket reversed—i.e. “PLAY FOUL”) appear onstage in a poof of multicolored magic smoke. Members of the audience SHRIEK.

SFX
Aaaaiiiieeeee!

Zatanna
What now?

Page 3, panel 3

Bizarro lunges at Zatanna.

Bizarro
The magic is over, witch!

Zatanna
Orrazib pirt no epac!

Page 3, panel 4

Bizarro trips on his cape. He face plants.

SFX
Crack!

Bizarro
Oof!

Page 3, panel 5

Reverse-Flash zooms at Zatanna from behind her.

Page 3, panel 6

Batman’s upper half (now out of the box) discreetly positions his cape in Reverse-Flash’s path. (If possible, the upper half can be shown slipping out of the box in the background of whichever of the previous four panels allows for it most easily.)

PAGE 4

Page 4, panel 1

Reverse-Flash slips on the cape.

Reverse-Flash
Yo-o-o-o-o-ow!

Page 4, panel 2

Reverse-Flash is flung forward into the stage curtain. The force is pulling it down over him.

Page 4, panel 3

Mr. Terrible throws his coat around Zatanna’s head. In background, Batman’s upper half can be seen hand-walking over to a dangling stage pulley rope.

Zatanna
Mmf! Nmf!

Page 4, panel 4

Batman’s lower half (also out of the box now) trips Mr. Terrible.

Mr. Terrible
Ouch! Terrible!

Page 4, panel 5

Batman’s upper half tugs on the rope, sending the requisite stage sandbag smashing into the head of Mr. Terrible (who is on the ground from the tripping).

Mr. Terrible
Yowch! Just terrible!

PAGE 5

Page 5, panel 1

Man-Bat swoops down and grabs both halves of Batman, one in each foot.

Man-Bat
Skree! I’ll rip each half into half!

Mxyzptlk (off-panel)
Oh no you don’t, Mangy-Bat! There’s already too much mess to clean up here.

Page 5, panel 2

Mxyzptlk is floating and cross-legged in front of Man-Bat. His finger is twirling.

Mxyzptlk
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Batman together again. But none of them were as talented as Mxyzptlk!

Page 5, panel 3

Still in Man-Bat’s clutches, Batman “snaps” back together (so that Man-Bat is now holding him by the shoulders).

SFX
Snap!

Page 5, panel 4

With his feet, Batman yanks a stage light off its mount.

Batman
You’re not the only one here who can think on his feet!

Page 5, panel 5

Batman swings his legs up to smash the light into Man-Bat’s head.

SFX
Smash!

Man-Bat
Skre-e-e-e-e-e!

PAGE 6

Page 6, panel 1

Batman lands next to Zatanna. In the background, Man-Bat and stage light can be seen plummeting into Bizarro. (If possible, Bizarro can be shown staggering to his feet in the background of whichever of the previous few panels allows for it most easily.)

Batman
(quietly to Zatanna)
The only way to send Mxyzptlk back to his home in the 5th dimension is to get him to say his name backwards.

Zatanna
My specialty.

Page 6, panel 2

Mxyzptlk, still floating, zips over to Batman and Zatanna.

Mxyzptlk
I save you, Bratman, and no thank you? At least the audience appreciates me!

Page 6, panel 3

Looking over the shoulders of Batman, Zatanna, and Mxyzptlk into a now-nearly empty theater.

Page 6, panel 4

Mxyzptlk (from left side of panel) glares at the two remaining audience members (on the right). The audience members are feebly clapping.

Mxyzptlk
I said at least the audience appreciates me!

SFX
Clap…clap…clap…?

Page 6, panel 5

Batman
Bizarro spoke properly and Man-Bat, well, spoke. Those weren’t the real villains. 

Mxyzptlk
So? They were still threats and I bravely if uncharacteristically helped stop them so now you owe me.

Zatanna
Don’t act the hero, Mxyzptlk. I can tell you conjured them in the first place. What do you want?

Page 6, panel 6 

Mxyzptlk (balloon 1)
When you speak backwards, big things happen. When I do, either nothing happens—or I’m sent back to the fifth dimension. Both are the opposite of fun! 

Mxyzptlk (balloon 2)
So all I want, Zatannuts, is the teeny tiny key to your magic.

PAGE 7

Page 7, panel 1

Batman
Your nicknames are more painful than the saw, Mxyzptlk. How’d you like it if we called you something corny like My Pixie Stick, Sir-Myx-a-Lick, or Kltpzyxm?

Mxyzptlk
My Pixie Stick is not even close to a true rhyme. Sir-Myx-a-Lick is a bit better, but a bit dated. And Kltp…ah ah ah. Now come on. Do you think I’m stupid?

Page 7, panel 2

Zatanna
That depends. Who picked out your outfit? 

Mxyzptlk
Look who’s talking.

Batman
Mxyzptlk, if you thought you could get Zatanna to “repay” you by revealing how her backwards spells work—

Page 7, panel 3

Zatanna
—thus giving you the power to stay here forever, the answer is no way. 

Mxyzptlk
Not fair, Zatannoying!

Batman
This explains why you used only reverse-themed villains. You have backwards on the brain.

Page 7, panel 4

Mxyzptlk summons up a big blue ribbon or medal labeled “World’s Greatest Detective” stuck on Batman’s costume. 

Mxyzptlk
You’ve really earned it this time, Brightman. And I’ve earned one myself.

Page 7, panel 5

Mxyzptlk summons up another (much bigger) blue ribbon or medal labeled “Multiverse’s Greatest Magical Being Despite the Lack of Just One Ability Who Will Keep Bugging You Until You Help Me Acquire It So I Can Escape My Home World for Good.”

Page 7, panel 6

Batman
You know, Mxyzptlk, I’ve met others from the fifth dimension. Unlike you, none of them have whined about it.

Zatanna
And I’ve actually been there. It’s hardly horrible. In fact, the parts I saw were lovely.

PAGE 8

Page 8, panel 1

Mxyzptlk is steaming. 

Mxyzptlk
Whine, huh? Hardly horrible, huh? Fine, superheadaches! See for yourselves!

Page 8, panel 2

Mxyzptlk grabs a wrist each of Batman and Zatanna. 

Mxyzptlk
Kltpzyxm!

Page 8, panel 3

caption
5th DIMENSION

Zatanna
Great idea, Batman.

Batman
Great job following along, Zatanna.

Page 8, panel 4 

Mxyzptlk
Now hold on, dulltastic duo! You didn’t trick me. I chose to come back.

Zatanna
You’re finally showing some sense. And we’ll be leaving now. Nruter Namtab dna em ot— 

Mxyzptlk
Not so fast! Not before I show you why I brought you here. Things have changed…

Page 8, panel 5

The three round a hill to see a field of what must be hundreds of imps that resemble Mxyzptlk, only that half are wearing the reverse color scheme (purple dominant with orange trim) of his outfit. The “oranges” and the “purples” are playing practical jokes on each other—some familiar (pies in faces, squirting lapel flowers, tripping, even wedgieing if possible to show) and others possible only in the fifth dimension (magically removing pants, replacing ears with ears of corn, floating upside down, and other hijinks the artist would enjoy drawing).

Mxyzptlk looks distressed and clasps the sides of his head as if he’s witnessing the pinnacle of madness. 

Mxyzptlk
It’s uncivil war!

PAGE 9

Page 9, panel 1

Zatanna
But it’s just pranksters like you. 

Mxyzptlk (balloon 1)
Exactly! Here, I’m nobody special—I’m just like Zkpymtlx who acts the same as Tzlmykxp who is the spitting image of Kltpzyxm. Where is the fun is that? 

Mxyzptlk (balloon 2)
I’ll tell you where—in your dimension, where I’m one of a kind!

Page 9, panel 2

Batman (balloon 1)
Now I get why you’d want out of this place. When everyone is alike, it’s easy to lose sense of who you are. Differences help us feel human—and, er, whatever you are. 

Batman (balloon 2)
So we’ll help end this war.

Zatanna
But only if you promise never to return to our dimension. 

Mxyzptlk
You make it fun here and it’s a deal. To the prankfield!

Page 9, panel 3

As Mxyzptlk leads Batman and Zatanna down to the melee, a jumbo pie hurtles toward them. Zatanna, distracted by Mxyzptlk’s question, doesn’t notice it. 

Mxyzptlk
(to Zatanna)
Can’t you put a stop to all this just by casting a quick spell?

Page 9, panel 4

Zatanna is covered in pie and looking as happy about it as you would.

Zatanna
I’m not that powerful.

Batman
No matter how long it takes, we’ll get it done.

Page 9, panel 5

Pie bits fly off Zatanna and reassemble into an intact, floating pie.

Zatanna
But first: Naelc eip ffo em!

PAGE 10

Page 10, panel 1

Batman deflecting several thrown pies (or, for variety, slicing off several squirting flower lapels) with a skillfully thrown Batarang.

Page 10, panel 2

Zatanna (looking out of corner of her eye in disgust/modesty) repantsing several imps.

Zatanna
Stnap og kcab no sgel!

Page 10, panel 3

Mxyzptlk switching back transposed heads of several imps. 

Mxyzptlk
(small print to indicate exasperation)
You know, you could’ve fixed this yourselves.

Page 10, panel 4

With the field of imps now standing at peace, Zatanna’s final act is bringing some diversity to their outfits (i.e. colors beyond orange and purple).

Zatanna
Dda erom sroloc!

Page 10, panel 5 

Mxyzptlk
Thank you, superhelpers. And now that the Zatmanna team and I are chummy colleagues, feel free to finally share the secret to effective backwards spellcasting.

Page 10, panel 6

Batman
I believe Zatanna was already clear on that, but put another way: tegrof ti.

"Batman: Brave and Bold" script #2: Batman and Animal Man

In 2009, I finally got the chance to write for DC Comics; editor Mike Siglain commissioned four scripts for the comic based on the whimsical animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold. 

Batman and Wonder Girl

Batman and Animal Man

Batman and Zatanna

Batman and Captain Comet

I had a blast, using mostly heroes who had not appeared with Batman either on the show or in the comic the show was based on. I loved the way the series mixed and matched, often pitting Batman and a co-star against a villain who was not associated with either of them.

I got paid. I got excited.

Then the title got canceled. 

Since it is now unlikely that these stories will be published, I will share them here. All characters, of course, are copyright DC Comics. This installment: Batman and Animal Man.

“The Big Time Hits Gotham!”

PAGE 1

Page 1, panel 1

On a mountain road at night, Titano lumbers past a sign “Gotham City 24 miles.”

Page 1, panel 2

Titano sees a green glow from around the next curve. His thought bubble shows a Green Lantern emblem followed by a question mark.

Page 1, panel 3

Rounding the curve, he sees the equally huge Chemo also making his way to Gotham.

Page 1, panel 4

Chemo’s “speech” bubble shows him (in perhaps a more cartoony style than the story proper) wreaking havoc in Gotham (so another sign must be visible).

Page 1, panel 5

Titano’s “speech” bubble shows him (also in the cartoonier style) wreaking havoc in the same setting from Chemo’s bubble.

PAGE 2

Page 2, panel 1

Titano and Chemo rush at each other to fight for the privilege of razing Gotham.

Page 2, panel 2

Titano whacks Chemo (with his feet, perhaps?).

SFX
Bwang!

Page 2, panel 3

Chemo smacks Titano.

SFX
Fwhack!

Page 2, panel 4

Titano’s speech bubble visually conveying “Let’s flip a coin.” [However, if you agree, I would love to delete this panel to withhold the reason why they want the giant coin—until we can SHOW it. It’ll be obvious to some from the next panel, but for everyone else, I’d love to save the reveal for the actual moment when they use the coin. That’s a funnier payoff.]

Page 2, panel 5

Chemo’s speech bubble visually conveying “I heard there’s a giant penny in the Batcave.” (Perhaps it can show Joker telling him?)

Page 2, panel 6

Titano and Chemo peeking into different caves.

PAGE 3

Page 3, panel 1

Batman is staring up into the darkness.

caption
The Batcave (or instead of words, can repeat the image that represented it in Chemo’s speech bubble)

Batman
Progress report?

Animal Man (unseen—from darkness)
Trained—except for one thing. So tell me…

Page 3, panel 2

Animal Man leaps down into view—his hair and shoulders covered in white stuff.

Animal Man
…how come the guano never drops on you?

Page 3, panel 3

Animal Man lands next to Batman.

Animal Man
Let me guess. You have tiny sensors in your costume that detect when it’s about to hit and tiny lasers that disintegrate it first?

Batman
No. I have fast reflexes. So, a demonstration?

Page 3, panel 4

On the left of the panel stands Animal Man and Batman. On the right of the panel, flying bats are forming the phrase “HOME WEIRD HOME.”

Animal Man
Your wings at my command—

Page 3, panel 5

Titano and Chemo break through a wall, startling the bats into disarray.

SFX 
Crash!

Batman
Titano! Chemo!

PAGE 4

Page 4, panel 1

Animal Man points to the invaders.

Animal Man
Swarm them!

Page 4, panel 2

The bats surround Titano and Chemo.

Page 4, panel 3

Titano and Chemo swat the bats away as if they were gnats. Animal Man looks frustrated.

Animal Man
(to Batman)
Saw that coming. Got any other animals?

Page 4, panel 4

Batman
Just one.

Page 4, panel 5

Batman is using a small iPhone-like control to activate the giant Tyrannosaurus rex in his cave. Animal Man looks stunned.

dinosaur
Roooooaaaaaar!

Batman
Yeah, everyone forgets it’s actually a robot.

PAGE 5

Page 5, panel 1

The dinosaur grabs Titano’s arm in its jaw.

Titano
Arrgrowwwl!

Page 5, panel 2

Chemo sprays acid on the dinosaur’s head.

Page 5, panel 3

Titano twists the head off.

SFX 
Spraaaang!

Page 5, panel 4

Titano grabs the giant penny.

Page 5, panel 5

Titano and Chemo storm out through another wall.

SFX
Skraaack!

PAGE 6

Page 6, panel 1

In a swampy area in the outskirts, Titano flips the coin with Chemo.

Page 6, panel 2

It lands in the mud—on its edge. Mud also splatters all over it.

SFX 
Splootch!

Page 6, panel 3

Titano shrugs.

Page 6, panel 4

Both giants head toward Gotham.

Page 6, panel 5

Same view as previous panel, except giants no longer visible and Batman and Animal Man are following them—Batman in the Batcopter and Animal Man flying alongside it amid a bevy of bats.

PAGE 7

Page 7, panel 1

Batman and Animal Man fly over a path of grand scale devastation in the city—lampposts bent, cars crushed, fire hydrants spraying, huge footprints in pavement, etc. Both heroes wear a wireless headset communicator.

Animal Man
Two of the easier supervillains to track....

Page 7, panel 2

In the foreground, a cockroach skitters by on a window ledge as the Batcopter, Animal Man, and the bats fly by in the background.

Animal Man
Good thing, too, because a city doesn’t offer decent animals to borrow abilities from—pretty much just rats, pigeons, and cockroaches. I’d take bats over any of them any day.

Page 7, panel 3

Batman and Animal Man (and the bats) reach the harbor where Titano and Chemo are wading out to the Statue of Justice (a Statue of Liberty analog).

Batman
I’m afraid you won’t find a better choice of animals in this water.

Animal Man
I didn’t expect to, but perhaps alongside it…

Page 7, panel 4

With buzzing mosquitoes at the water’s edge in close up, Animal Man flies up to Titano in the background.

SFX (mosquitoes)
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

SFX (Animal Man)
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..

Page 7, panel 5

Animal Man is buzzing around Titano’s ears.   

Page 7, panel 6

Titano flicks Animal Man away.

Animal Man
Man! Lamest. Strategy. Ever! Why did I even try? I need to think bigger.

PAGE 8

Page 8, panel 1

Batman shoots two cables toward Chemo’s legs.

Batman
Have to be careful. Puncturing Chemo would create a deadly chemical spill that—Animal Man?

Page 8, panel 2

Batman looks out the window to find the bats still there but Animal Man nowhere to be seen.

Batman (caption)
It’s not like him to retreat, no matter how frustrated.

Page 8, panel 3

Chemo uses his acid to easily dissolve the cables wrapped around his legs.

Page 8, panel 4

Batman jumps from the copter to Titano’s back.

Batman (caption)
Maybe I can use the ape to take down the acid—if not both.

Page 8, panel 5

Batman tosses a Batarang around Titano’s hands.

Titano
Grrrrrr…

Page 8, panel 6

He pulls hard, yanking Titano’s hands up, which covers the ape’s own face.

PAGE 9

Page 9, panel 1

Titano falls backward, knocking down Chemo, too. Batman is climbing a rope back up to Batcopter.

Page 9, panel 2

Both giants have fallen into the water.

Batman (caption)
Now to net them and then find out what happened to Animal—

Page 9, panel 3

A giant ape hand obscures the windows of the Batcopter.

Page 9, panel 4

Chemo spritzes acid on the propeller, dissolving it.

SFX
Ssssssssssssssss…

Page 9, panel 5

Titano hurls the Batcopter at the Statue of Justice.

Page 9, panel 6

Just before impact, an even larger hand catches the Batcopter.

PAGE 10

Page 10, panel 1

Pull back to reveal it’s Animal Man, standing taller than both villainous giants.

Batman
Animal Man! But how—?

Page 10, panel 2

He opens his other hand to reveal Giganta (in prison garb and locked in one of those high-tech armcuff devices often shown in DC cartoons and comics).

Batman
Giganta—of course. You can tap her size-changing ability since she was transformed into a human from an ape.

Giganta
(small print to indicate embarrassment)
How many times have I asked you all not to keep mentioning that?

Animal Man (balloon 1)
Right, Batman. But to borrow her power, I first had to borrow her from prison. And since I lack your fast reflexes, I borrowed the diving speed of a nearby peregrine falcon to do it quickly.

Animal Man (balloon 2)
Still, sorry I took off without explaining.

Page 10, panel 3

Batman
As a man of action more than words, Animal Man, I understand.

Animal Man
But I didn’t completely abandon you. Before I left, I told the bats to feast up on mosquitoes and go guano on the giants.

Page 10, panel 4

The heroes see Titano and Chemo under the hoard of bats and positively DRENCHED in guano, which is obscuring their vision and causing them to stumble around in the water.

Animal Man
So your little friends finally came in handy.

Page 10, panel 5

Batman
You return those two to the oversized containment facility, Animal Man, and I’ll get you back to prison, Giganta. But first, in exchange for a larger cell, you can do something I’m admittedly too small for…

Page 10, panel 6

Giganta, at increased size and blindfolded (for security), is in the Batcave. Under the watchful eye of Batman and Animal Man, she is irritably polishing the mud off the retrieved giant penny.

"Batman: Brave and Bold" script #1: Batman and Wonder Girl

In 2009, I finally got the chance to write for DC Comics; editor Mike Siglain commissioned four scripts for the comic based on the whimsical animated series Batman: The Brave and the Bold. 

Batman and Wonder Girl

Batman and Animal Man

Batman and Zatanna

Batman and Captain Comet

I had a blast, using mostly heroes who had not appeared with Batman either on the show or in the comic the show was based on. I loved the way the series mixed and matched, often pitting Batman and a co-star against a villain who was not associated with either of them.

I got paid. I got excited.

Then the title got canceled. 

Since it is now unlikely that these stories will be published, I will share them here. All characters, of course, are copyright DC Comics. First up: Batman and Wonder Girl.

“The Brave and the Cold!”

PAGE 1

Page 1, panel 1

On a runway on Paradise Island, Batman leaps from the parked Batplane to the one parked next to it, the Invisible Jet.

Batman

Ready?

Page 1, panel 2

Wonder Girl sits inside the Invisible Jet—in the driver’s seat. Batman takes the seat next to her.

Wonder Girl

I’ve fought gods. I think I’m ready to learn to fly a plane.

Batman

Not until you fasten your seatbelt.

Page 1, panel 3

Wonder Girl has a huffy expression.

Wonder Girl

Did you hear the part about me fighting gods? Superman doesn’t need a seatbelt.

Batman

Superman doesn’t need an airplane.

Page 1, panel 4

Wonder Girl even huffier, but fastening.

Wonder Girl

Neither do I.

Batman

You do when you need to transport others.

Wonder Girl

Yes, dad. I wish Wonder Woman was teaching me.

Page 1, panel 5

Wonder Girl has that expression of someone repeating someone else’s (annoying) words.

Batman

You know she’s taking care of a threat off-world. And I know she explained to you why I’m doing this.

Wonder Girl

“Batman has extensive experience both flying planes and handling teenagers. He’s the best man for the job.”

Page 1, panel 6

Both Batman and Wonder Girl look peeved.

Wonder Girl

I still wish Wonder Woman was teaching me.

Batman

Me too.

PAGE 2

Page 2, panel 1

caption

AN HOUR LATER

Batman

So those are the basics. Now try to take off.

Page 2, panel 2

Wonder Girl opening the door and stepping out.

Batman

I meant in the plane.

Wonder Girl

I know what you meant. I’m just getting even more bored than I already am, if that’s possible.

Page 2, panel 3

Batman

Robin says taking off is the most fun part.

Wonder Girl

Wait, Robin can already fly?

Page 2, panel 4

Batman

He’s been flying for more than a year. Batplane and Batcopter.

Wonder Girl

But he’s like two months younger than me!

Page 2, panel 5

Wonder Girl, shown in close up, now looks determined.

Wonder Girl

Let’s rock this jet.

Page 2, panel 6

The Invisible Jet speeds off down the runway.

PAGE 3

Page 3, panel 1

The Invisible Jet veers into a ditch.

caption

ATTEMPT 1

Wonder Girl

Darn!

Page 3, panel 2

The Invisible Jet has veered into a dense pocket of trees.

caption

ATTEMPT 3

Batman

You see this invisible plane but not that visible forest?

Page 3, panel 3

The Invisible Jet is wedged up to the wings between two large Greek pillars.

caption

ATTEMPT 7

Wonder Girl

Grrr…

Page 3, panel 4

The Invisible Jet’s nose is tipped into the ocean.

caption

ATTEMPT 18

Wonder Girl

Aarrgh!

Page 3, panel 5

The Invisible Jet is upside down.

caption

ATTEMPT 26

Batman

Now this is a first.

Page 3, panel 6

The Invisible Jet takes off successfully (shown from its exterior and only 10-20 feet in the air).

Wonder Girl

Wooooooo-hoo!

PAGE 4

Page 4, panel 1

A large blast of ice shoots up and freezes the Invisible Jet in mid-air (but not much higher than shown in previous panel).

SFX

Fwock!

Page 4, panel 2

Batman and Wonder Girl look down to see that Killer Frost has anchored the jet to the ground with a huge ice column.

Wonder Girl

Killer Frost!

Page 4, panel 3

Wonder Girl is flying out of the plane toward Killer Frost.

Wonder Girl

(to Batman)

Too bad men can’t step foot on Paradise Island—not that I need your help.

Page 4, panel 4

Wonder Girl lands on the runway near Killer Frost.

Wonder Girl

People come to the tropics to avoid the cold, KF—so you’ll be leaving.

Page 4, panel 5

Killer Frost

Learning to fly the Invisible Jet and making bad quips—I must be interrupting Superhero 101. Well, “WG,” class is canceled because of icy conditions!

Page 4, panel 6

Killer Frost blasts ice at Wonder Girl, who is throwing up her bracelets in defense.

SFX

Skraaack!

Wonder Girl

And that’s a good quip?

PAGE 5

Page 5, panel 1

Killer Frost’s ice has frozen Wonder Girl’s bracelets together.

Killer Frost (balloon 1)

A shame that one of the few abilities the all-powerful Wonder Girl lacks is heat vision.

Killer Frost (balloon 2)

By the way, what good is an Invisible Jet when the people inside aren’t?

Page 5, panel 2

Killer Frost raises her hands to deliver another ice blast to Wonder Girl.

Batman (off-panel, from above)

The people inside aren’t the type to hide from criminals like you, Frost.

Page 5, panel 3

Killer Frost’s hands are knocked sideways by a Batarang thrown by Batman standing atop the Invisible Jet, sending her blast away from Wonder Girl.

SFX

Twack!

Killer Frost

Hey! That was cold!

Page 5, panel 4

Killer Frost rides one of her signature ice arcs up to the Invisible Jet as Batman slips inside it.

SFX

Skraaaaack!

Killer Frost

And I’m only trying to play ice.

Page 5, panel 5

Batman and Killer Frost stand at opposite ends inside the Invisible Jet.

Batman

What do you want, Frost?

Killer Frost

For starters, I’m happy with this—the bat trapped like a rat.

PAGE 6

Page 6, panel 1

Targeting Batman, Killer Frost begins to fill the Invisible Jet solid with ice.

SFX

Skreeeeek!

Page 6, panel 2

The ice is closing in on Batman, who is heating a Bat-grapple with a Bat-mini-blowtorch.

Page 6, panel 3

He fires the heated grapple into the approaching ice.

SFX

Kakraaaaack!

Page 6, panel 4

The grapple breaks through the other end and clamps onto Killer Frost.

Killer Frost

Wha—?

Page 6, panel 5

Batman tugs the grapple rope.

Page 6, panel 6

Killer Frost is yanked butt first into the hole carved out by the grapple, getting wedged in.

Killer Frost

Oomf!

PAGE 7

Page 7, panel 1

Batman scrambles onto a wing of the Invisible Jet. The angle is bird’s-eye so that we can see Wonder Girl below, banging her ice “handcuffs” on a rock or other hard surface.

Wonder Girl

(quietly because she’s at a distance)

This stuff is freakishly strong…

Page 7, panel 2

Killer Frost emerges on the wing as well, arms raised to blast.

Killer Frost

Ice try, Batman, but I’m on a deadline and can’t risk any delays. So let’s freeze that clever brain of yours.

Page 7, panel 3

As Killer Frost fires, Batman does a cartwheel, with knees bent so that his feet are now at the level his head was when standing. His feet are apart. The ice is NOT hitting him yet.

SFX

Spraaaaack!

Page 7, panel 4

Building on his momentum, Batman fires his grapple again (hooking around the wing of the Invisible Jet) so he can swing down to Wonder Girl. His feet should NOT be visible.

Page 7, panel 5

Batman lands in front of Wonder Girl, who looks aghast (and is still ice-cuffed). His feet should still NOT be visible.

SFX

Whompf!

Wonder Girl

Batman—no! You know men aren’t allowed to touch the ground on Paradise Island!

Page 7, panel 6

It is now revealed that Batman’s feet are frozen into jagged ice boots with thick, perhaps spiky soles.

Batman

I do. And I’m not.

PAGE 8

Page 8, panel 1

Batman is using the same blowtorch to melt the ice cuffs. Wonder Girl looks put in her place.

Batman

Not that you need my help…

Page 8, panel 2

Wonder Girl is freed and her face reads “payback.” Perhaps her fists do, too.

Wonder Girl

Where is she?

Page 8, panel 3

Batman gesturing to a trail of ice puddles.

Page 8, panel 4

As Batman (still in ice boots) and Wonder Girl follow the trail, the ground shakes.

Wonder Girl

Earthquake?

Page 8, panel 5

Batman and Wonder Girl reach the end of the puddle trail, which is a gaping hole in the ground—gaping and smoking.

Batman

Actually…volcano.

Wonder Girl

I never knew Paradise Island sat on a volcano! Or did Killer Frost create it?

Page 8, panel 6

Batman and Wonder Girl lowering into the crevice, he on his grapple, she on her lasso.

Batman

Given the nature of her power, I doubt it. But it’s clearly the reason she’s here.

PAGE 9

Page 9, panel 1

Landing on the rocky side of a lava lake, Batman and Wonder Girl see Killer Frost on a large chunk of hardened lava jutting from the lake. Batman’s boots are melting.

Batman

(gesturing to his melting boots, to Wonder Girl)

I assume it’s okay for a man to touch the ground under Paradise Island?

Page 9, panel 2

Wonder Girl flies toward Killer Frost.

Wonder Girl

I’ll check on that later. Now it’s time to cream some ice!

Page 9, panel 3

Wonder Girl punches Killer Frost.

Wonder Girl

What’s this about, KF?

Page 9, panel 4

As it appears Killer Frost is about to issue a tremendous ice blast, Wonder Girl snares her tightly with her lasso. Killer Frost looks alarmed.

Killer Frost

If you want to live long enough to hear the answer, release m—

Page 9, panel 5

The volcano rumbles. Startled, Wonder Girl loosens her grip of the lasso and Killer Frost slips out.

SFX

Bruuuuummmmm…

Killer Frost

No! It’s too soon! I’m not read—

Page 9, panel 6

Batman

Frost—shield now!

PAGE 10

Page 10, panel 1

The volcano erupts and Killer Frost simultaneously creates a huge ice dome underneath the three, protecting them and containing the blast.

SFX

Boooooooooooommmm!

Page 10, panel 2

The three are atop the thick ice dome (which is high enough that it projects above ground). The dome is steaming from the heat below. Killer Frost has collapsed from exertion. Wonder Girl is looking around in relieved amazement.

Killer Frost

(to Wonder Girl)

Impulsive fool…you almost got me killed. And yourselves as well, not that that matters.

Page 10, panel 3

Wonder Girl is kneeling in a traditional honor pose before Killer Frost.

Wonder Girl

You saved Paradise Island, Frost. On behalf of all of my Amazon sisters…I thank you.

Page 10, panel 4

Wonder Girl is standing.

Batman

That was the most heroic thing you’ve done today, Wonder Girl. Being a hero is not always about throwing the strongest punch.

Wonder Girl

Well, I’m not about to make a habit of thanking supervillains. Most of my heroics will still be of the butt-kicking variety.

Killer Frost

And I’m not about to melt from your thanks. You ruined my plan to turn your precious island into my own personal tropical ice fortress—and wipe out all you bothersome Amazons at the same time.

Page 10, panel 5

The three are descending the ice shield, Batman with Killer Frost in Bat-cuffs.

Killer Frost (balloon 1)

I just wish I could’ve done it without needing a volcano to supply a massive amount of raw material for me to freeze. I’ve been waiting for it to erupt for weeks.

Killer Frost (balloon 2)

And speaking of which, Wonder Girl, you could stand to learn some patience yourself.

Page 10, panel 6

Wonder Girl fumes.

Batman

I’m not about to make a habit of agreeing with supervillains, but Killer Frost does have a point…